A note concerning tangents: (XII)

Current Location: Moab, UT (pop~5,100)

(N38°33.906’, W109°33.023’, elev: 4056 feet)

Distance traveled this leg: 93.9, and that was just driving around Arches and back and forth to town.

Distance hiked in Arches National Park: Edison (~9 miles), Nickness & Hannibal (~13.5)

Total Distance traveled: 4052.9 miles

Expedition Outlook: Dehydrated

Number of Shooting Stars Seen Over the Utah Desert: 8

Vista seen from Partition Arch.

Hello again from Moab, fair readers. Arches National Park was phenomenal. In an apples and oranges sort of fashion it was just as good as the House on the Rock, which, as you may recall, has been the expedition’s current high point.

The entrance to Devils' Garden.

We managed to rouse ourselves at an hour that while not early for most people was early for us. In standard expedition fashion, there was much back slapping, egregious praise, and even a couple of medals and awards were issued. By time we were finished of course, we had used up a bunch of time, so we made haste to the park.

After a brief pow-wow session with a ranger, we had an agenda: Devil’s Garden (and its multitude of arches), the Windows and associated attractions, and finally Wolfe’s Ranch and the Delicate Arch.

Devil’s Garden is a roughly 7 mile trail loop (not including the hike out to the Dark Angel, which we omitted, or any of the other trail branches that we did take). We naturally assumed that we could handle a 7 mile hike on uneven terrain, complete with scrambling and climbing, all under the eye of Edison’s bitter foe, Apollo. This is an important thing to remember for later. We attacked the trail with our usual vim and vigor: With me boldly forging along ahead to provide the best first impression about the excursion team and to talk to any locals that may need talking to; Edison padding around, alert for all of those things that are important for a successful excursion to be aware of, such as: excellent photography vantages, trail heads, Batlabian desert skirmishers, hornets, suit cases full of money, pretty girls, hobos, and furious wildlife; Hannibal rides in the excursion pack and largely acts adorable until he can get within paw’s reach of an unsuspecting lady, at which point he acts lecherous and grabby.

Landscape Arch

The terrain, though uneven and a little treacherous, was trod beneath our might feet as we began our conquest of arches and other vistas. Something you should know about Devil’s Garden, the first few sites, Pine Tree Arch, Landscape Arch, Tunnel Arch , are all located on the ‘easy trail.’ To see the rest (Double O, Navajo Arch, Partition Arch, Private Arch, and if you’re interested, Dark Angel) visitors must assay the more strenuous Primitive Trail. Perhaps one of the excursion team’s greatest weaknesses is that it is entirely male (with the exception of Tachikoma, who doesn’t offer much on her own volition one way or another), so we lack a certain balanced perspective when it comes to decision making. In this case, we stuck with our original plan of doing the whole loop. 

The top half of Double O. 

The Primitive Trail was totally worth it; we saw a lot of interesting things and went a lot of interesting places, including some smaller arches that did not appear on the map. We also discovered that the sun is our enemy (more Edison’s than mine) and that while two liters of water, per person, is adequate, three liters would have been a lot better. Though we successfully completed the hike without becoming buzzard chow, Apollo dealt Edison a crushing blow, knocking him out of commission for the rest of the day. Hannibal and I weathered the trail much better, and after refueling, rehydrating, and returning Edison to our lodging, we returned to the park. Our unexpected time in town removed the possibility of hitting both of the remaining stops on our agenda, so we elected to head out to Wolfe Ranch and the Delicate Arch.

Delicate Arch at sunset.

It was well worth the trip, although there were definitely some moments where we were regretting our choice, in particular when we learned that the entire hike to the arch is uphill. None the less, frequent rest stops, an auspicious bag of carrots, and most importantly sheer stubbornness won the day and we finally gained the pinnacle and Delicate Arch. We even made good enough time that we could explore the region around the arch before watching the sunset over the canyons. Once Apollo smugly retired for the evening, the team made its way back to Corona. On a whim, we detoured onto the top of a bluff to watch the sky (there were some thunderheads in the distance and an occasional lighting flash, although nothing really came of it). There is very little light to bleed into the sky that deep into the park, and the sky overhead was clear enough to allow the Milky Way to be seen, as well as a number of shooting stars and an object I’m assuming was a satellite but could very well have been aliens. I was even able to pick out some constellations and other phenomena thanks to our trip to the Adler in Chicago. If you’re still reading this, thank you again Pat, for giving me the lay of the land above the horizon. After an hour or so of gazing, we finally packed it in and headed back to base.

Landscape near Delicate Arch.

While I cannot speak for other expedition members, I can certainly relate my thoughts and feelings about this place. First off, if you’re a fan of national parks and hiking, and if you are able, go there. You might even want to consider going even if these things don’t typically interest you. The land has a very primal feel. Everything is huge and shaped by forces more complex and vast than anything man has likely conceived of. It’s places like these that give me a perspective on just how fascinating and wonderful a world we live in. There was a moment, when were resting in the shade under Private Arch and staring at these magnificent canyon walls, when I realized that there was utter silence around us. No plants to rustle, no wind to rustle them, no bugs, or animals, or birds, no people, no sounds of civilization, there was nothing but the sound of my own pulse in my ears and the breath in my lungs. It is the only time I can remember ever being anywhere in absolute silence. It was awesome, and the truest sense of the word, which is to say “inspiring awe.” Later in the day, at Delicate Arch, I climbed up a rocky column, and perched there, a good 600 feet above the plateau where Corona was distantly parked (which itself is over 5000 feet above sea level), and I could see for miles. And the only thing I could see was desert and scrub and canyons and rocky spires and this magnificent, improbable arch of sandstone. I was so high up that I could see both ends of a rainbow whose feet easily straddled an expanse of land whose width would need to be measured in miles. Everything was so stunning and it filled me with a sense of wonder and vigor and vibrancy and just plain ‘ol good feeling. For a few brief moments it was as if the world was a perfect place, with everything in alignment, and despite being a mile above sea level, head in the clouds as it were, I felt a deep connection to the bones of bedrock below me. Maybe that’s what the Hindu and Buddhist practitioners mean when they speak of Nirvana. I wish there was a way where I could give even a glimmer of that feeling to you, treasured readers, but this broadcast is a poor medium for such a thing, even if such a concept wasn’t so heavily subjective in the first place. In a way, this whole trip has been like that, as far as giving me a far different perspective and context with which to view life and the living of it, but not in such a mind blowing way as I experienced today.

Hannibal being coy. 

OK. I’m done babbling now. Thank you for bearing with me. Edison will be taking a hiatus from the broadcast this evening, so that he might better work on recovering. Tomorrow will bring us towards Colorado and Nebraska (somehow we ended up missing Wyoming. I think it’s because, ready for this folks, we went through Idaho). I’m going to strive to be up and put together enough to see some more stuff in Arches before we go, while Edison sleeps in. Cross your fingers for me, readers, because I very much want to experience as much of the park as I can before we depart. And on that note, I need a shower and then some sleep. Thank you, America, and good night. This is the Nickness, signing off:

The last arch of the day was one made of clouds. 

Thank you for tuning in! On our next episode: Arches Redux; How Many Mountains Before You Can No Longer Shake A Stick At Them?; Edison: Now A Zombie?; Beginning The Return Journey East