Current Location: Moab, UT (pop~5,100)
(N38°33.906’, W109°33.023’, elev: 4056 feet)
Distance traveled this leg: 660.9 miles (Booyah!)
Total Distance traveled: 3959.0 miles
Expedition Outlook: Which way to the Thunderdome?
Worst State in the Union: Neck and neck between Idaho and Connecticut
Providence has shone upon the expedition, glorious readers! Eloise rejoined us this morning having recovered from her case of the vapors. In the spirit of good cheer she promptly tried to navigate us into a hazard. It’s good to have you back, Eloise.
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| Three layers of terrain here. A sampler platter of geography if you will. |
Not a lot to report on the day’s activities. We successfully implemented our 600 mile blitz to Moab and the only thing we hit was a juvenile tumbleweed in Utah. We headed southeast out of Bozeman and Montana earned its title as the most gorgeous state we’ve traveled through with both authority and flair. Lush mountain passes, picturesque rivers, shimmering verdant valleys; these things were all common sights along the way. We were in considerably high spirits by time we hit Idaho.
It would be misleading to say that Idaho rained on our parade. Urinated on our parade would be a much more appropriate metaphor, but only if you added “and then set rabid, flaming bears to maul it.” We spent close to a half hour parked on the highway whilst the Idahoboan DPW conducted some sort arcane procedure whose purpose and effect was completely unknowable to those without sufficient brain damage to understand it. Our journey continued to be plagued by traffic as well as the highest fuel prices on our trip by at least a 20 cent margin. One might think that being so close to Montana the terrain would at least be wonderful. One would be thinking incorrectly. If one hadn’t been to Montana first, one might think the land around Idaho lovely, but having just come from Montana, we realized it to be a poor copy. More dwellings, more scrub, less majesty; even the roads were in poorer condition. As if that wasn’t bad enough, the gods had another go at Edison just before we managed to escape. They pulled another storm out of their celestial arses and battered us again with wind and rain. Perhaps they were attempting to mire us in Idaho, but who am I to try and divine the ineffable plans of insane deities? Irregardless of their agenda, Corona saw us safely through their tantrum and into the much more pleasant territory of Utah.
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| For the sake of completeness, here's some Idaho. |
I’m willing to admit that I am basing my judgments on a very narrow window of experience and that that might not be fair to Idaho. Well it wasn’t fair of Idaho to pee on our parade and attack it with bears, either, so here’s a British workman’s salute for you, Idaho. In all honesty, things did improve the closer to Utah we got, and once the land began to take on its own unique character we even took some pictures of it. Ultimately though, Idaho will simply go down as “that irritating corridor between Montana and Utah.” at least for the purposes of this expedition, anyway. Perhaps a future trip will give Idaho a chance to redeem itself.
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| One of the more striking passes we went through in UT. |
Utah was a pleasant antipode to Montana. Both states possessed sprawling plains, winding canyons, precarious passes, and looming mountains. However, where Montana was lush, Utah was more arid; where Montana was greens and browns, Utah was rusts and tans; where Montana had ranches, Utah had vast empty stretches. It was gorgeous in its own way and served to brighten our spirits back up. We missed out on the Salt Desert, as our course took us to the east of its environs. We did drive through Salt Lake City, though. Where a lot of eastern cities are tall, SLC was sprawling, much like other western cities such as LA. The highway travel throughout the city limits was typical of such travel anywhere else in the country. Once we got away and back into the mountains things became far more engaging. Soon after that night fell and blocked the land from our sight.
All in all it was a long trip, but very manageable. That we successfully negotiated it gives us confidence that if we need to execute further long hauls to get back on time we will be able to do so with panache and flair. Speaking of panache and flair, here’s Edison:
[Notes from Edison:
Was that a compliment? I think something must be wrong. Drink more water, you’re probably dehydrated.
Yeah, Idaho=Fail state. ‘Nuff said.
I have to say, not many people would be able to take this trip and not chew each others’ limbs off (like a harlequin shrimp) or their own (like a nervous squid) by the end. We can. Despite the steady picking ons, we are still in good cheer. Go Metal Clan.
Hannibal, too, is in good cheer. Perhaps his near-constant philandering and general foolings-about are his outlet for stress? Seems like a good system to me, at least.
Not much to say about today except that we won, it’s over, and we are much looking forward to tomorrow. Arches should be grand. We’re hoping the storm gods were left far enough behind that they won’t (literally) rain on our parade, but if they do we are probably dumb enough to head out anyway. We’re planning on a mix of hiking and driving, we’ll see how it works out.
As the wise man said; “Believe it or not I'm walking on air, I never thought I could feel so free, flying away on a wing and a prayer, who could it be? Believe it or not it's just me.” (Still have to watch that show again…)
That’s us, living the dream. Love and Peace, folks! Take care of each other out there.]
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| Yes folks this is in fact Hannibal. I know it's hard to tell when he's not womanizing or being destructive. |
A wonderful example of the opposite of panache and flair. Thank you once again, Edison, for your uncanny ability to provide a contrasting viewpoint to enhance understanding and provide a context. What is it they say? Without the darkness you'll never appreciate the light? Every zenith needs a nadir, and this expedition treasures you for your superlative ability to fill that role. (Hannibal just high fived me)
We have an unprecedented situation here, folks. We'll be spending two nights in Moab as we plan on enjoying Arches National Park until at least sundown tomorrow. We are striving with all of our might to capitalize on an early start. We may even get it right for once. Until next time, thank you, America, and good night. This is the Nickness, signing off:
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| Had to hang out of Corona's sunroof to get this shot. |
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