A note concerning tangents: (VI)

Current Location: Madison, WI (pop. ~236,000)
(N43°08.374', W089°17.948, elev: 935 feet
Distance Traveled on Leg 5: 190.3 Miles
Total Distance Traveled: 1736.2 Miles
Expedition Outlook: Satisfied
Percentage of Cabs in Chicago that look like police cruisers: 95%

As of this evening, the expedition has reached its seventh state since departing MA. We can now add Wisconsin to the list of states in the Union that have been graced by our presence. Today was good, but extremely full. Edison and I are still struggling to combat our nocturnal tendencies (Hannibal isn't even bothering to try) and this did work against us to some extent today. While we did manage to set wheels to pavement more than hour ahead of our usual times, that was still an hour later than we wanted to depart. Complicating things was the hour and a half long commute into Chicago (It was only 39 miles, traffic was atrocious.) Ultimately this ate into our time at the Adler Planetarium, but such is the way of things.

Though rusty, I was forced to negotiate the Lesser Seal of the Ninth Gate in order to forestall divine wrath in the form of rain. Something that did not occur during the planning phases of the expedition was Edison's infamous animosity towards Divine beings. He already drew forth the wrath of Apollo while we were in Ohio, and I'm fairly certain the thunderstorm that fell out of the sky while we were driving to Paw Paw was Zeus going after him. To be safe, I targeted my negotiation at Poseidon today, and that seemed to do the trick, but I wonder just what further calamity will be drawn down upon the expedition simply by having Edison-the-Lightning-Rod on our roster.

Field Museum

Our first stop was the Field Museum, Chicago's natural history museum. It is home to Sue, the largest and most intact T-Rex skeleton in the world. It also boasts the standard plethora of flora, fauna, and geology exhibits, and an impressive collection of fossils. Sue was pretty cool, although I thought she'd be bigger. Turns out T-Rex's are only about the size of elephants (There happened to be some in the lobby that we could compare her to.) Curiously enough, despite some extremely cool and rare exhibit pieces, the thing that stands out to me the most was the Hall of Plants. Not because it was terribly interesting or engaging, but because it was, well it. Clearly the museum had some sort of adventure botanist in their employ at one point or another who compiled everything and put together the exhibits, and they even devoted a whole wing to it. What made it stand out was that I'd never encountered anything quite like it in scope or depth, and that includes fine institutions like Manhattan's Museum of Natural History and the Smithsonian. The presentation was sleek and lovely, and the exhibits detailed, but no one was there. I'd say it was as quiet as a tomb, except there happens to be an egyptian tomb on display at the moment, and that place was packed. The Hall of Plants has clearly been there for awhile and is definitely a permanent exhibit. We established that the only love it must get is when kids on field trips sneak off into it to neck. Bearing all of that in mind, I will dedicate this portion of the 'Log to the Hall of Plants and the adventure botanists that crafted it.

He never did mention a boat...

A point of curiosity: Hannibal jumped into a mysterious trunk in the Pacific Islander exhibit and Edison followed him in hot pursuit. They were both gone for about a half of an hour, during which time I challenged various stuffed animals to games of "I spy" (Suspiciously, most of what my opponents were spying turned out to be patron's brains. The game got to be very uncomfortable very quickly.). I found Edison under a bench near the member's lounge. His sun burn seemed inflamed and he was wearing a hat made of palm fronds (Which he subsequently ate one leaf at a time over the course of the next three hours. When queried he acted like he had no idea what I was talking about). He claimed to have found his way to an island in Micronesia and showed me photos to prove it. He also claimed to have been there for four days battling spacemen. I find this all to be quite suspect. 

Your guess is as good as ours.

As for Hannibal, we found him riding a mechanical elk near the Hall of Animals shortly after Edison's return. He was covered in lipstick and smelled of cheap bourbon and cordite. Neither of us have any idea what happened or where he found the elk, and he refuses to talk about it, so it may very well remain a mystery.

Adler Planetarium

Due to our scheduling and traffic errors, once we sated ourselves on five or so hours at the Field Museum, we had very little time for the Adler Planetarium. We did a quick sprint through the grounds, checked out some exhibits on the moon and on telescopes (Edison subjected himself to cosmic ray bombardment. I'm not sure why, but knowing him it was probably some sort of "I'll fight my ultraviolet radiation burns with a different kind of radiation. It'll be like two sine waves canceling each other out." Except the way his brain has been working lately it probably went more like "Owie. Fire hurt! Ah ha! Different Fire hurt Fire and make go away! I am play God!") We finished our sprint by taking in a stars in the sky light show. Standard fare for a planetarium, except our guide to the solar system was a brilliant fellow named Pat who gave the best presentation of this type I had ever seen. He was informative and hilarious and witty, and it was a treat. If you're reading this, sir, thank you very very much. 

Da Bean.

With only about two hours of daylight left, we ventured into Grant Park, then into Millennium Park to see the mysterious "Bean," (actually called the Cloud Gate) a sculpture mentioned to us by our lovely bartender on Kelley's Island. By this point in the day, the excursion team had about 3.5 cylinders and only one functionally handicapped hamster left for powering our mental faculties, so finding the Bean within the much larger Grant Park was embarrassingly more difficult than it should have been. Once we finally stumbled in, we were delighted to discover that Millenium Park turned out to contain much more than the Bean; there was a snazzy foot bridge, a gorgeous outdoor performance space, a fountain folks could play in, as well as some gardens and likely a few other features we were too addled to notice. 

Hannibal you rogue.

The bright spot here was two lovely lasses named Jaime and Gabrielle. Like many before them, these fine gals fell prey to Hannibal's rakish charisma (Have no fear ladies, the only thing dirty about Hannibal is his mind). Not about to let serendipity slide through our fingers, we took the opportunity to engage them in conversation and get the local scoop on nearby eateries. Thank you again for your kindness and courteousness to a pair of strangers (emphasis on the strange, no doubt) so far from home. 

Daylight was fading quicker than Edison's sanity, so we cut our chat short and set forth for our last stop, the SkyDeck at the Willis (formerly Sears) Tower. It was a hike: we were hungry, we discovered that everything apparently closes by 7 PM in this part of Chicago, and darkness was descending like a hood. After finally acquiring some chow, we drag ourselves to the SkyDeck to find that it is, and I hope you are holding on to your seats, dear readers, closed. "Why was it closed?" is what I'm sure you're anxiously asking your monitors. Grab on tight! It was closed 'due to high winds.' Winds. In Chicago. The Windy City. Who'd have thought? Not us, fair readers, nor did the two other pairs of visitors that arrived on the scene while we were still couched in incredulity. We six briefly formed an emotional bond of solidarity in united outrage and then went our separate ways. Somehow our winded neurons were able to guide us back to Corona and we set off north for Wisconsin.  Edison is currently eyeing me like his former palm frond cap, so I'm going to let him broadcast his piece and then send him to bed:

[Notes from Edison:
Chicken Soup Cheese, a surprisingly tasty artifact from bounteous Frankenmuth (the Cheese Haus), is my companion for this writing. Please ignore the mumbling and chewing noises.
Today was an exercise in ... well, exercise. It turns out we walked for pretty much a full 12 hours. Thankful for comfy shoes I am. Also for having a job that keeps me on my feet all the time. Otherwise I would be a blistered mess right now. Well; my feet, in addition to my shoulder. Healing goes apace, no worries.
Chicago, it seems, is the Grizzle capitol of the world. Many inhabitants seem to be struck by this strange - disease? Genetic condition? No one seems to know. Whatever it is, it it evident everywhere, from the truckers to the shirtless bike riders to the older ladies frying themselves in the sun along the lake. It's presence is a gentle sussurus  in the background, occasionally rising to ear-splitting levels when a particularly involved specimen wanders near. Sort of a "ggrriiiiizzzzzzlllle....ggrriiiiiizzzzzllle... grzgrriizz..griiiiGRIZZLEGRIZZLE!!!" Fortunately the grizzlers are easy to avoid, and seem to have no interest in, say, our juicy delicious brains. But I digress.
At the end of a long day of walking, with only a lonely bagel for sustenance so long ago, we set off for food at last. Not having made a decision as to where to go yet, we overhear a gentleman behind us mention Chipotle, a place with which I am quite familiar. 'Sounds good', we think, and head off. Turns out that except for one Mystery Chipotle that hides better than a speakeasy, all restaurants anywhere near the Willis (Sears) Tower close at like 6pm. WHAT THE UNHOLY BLINTZ IS THAT!? I disapprove of this, greatly.
Let me say one thing further before I go off to shower and bed: "We were at a party, his ear lobe fell in the deep. Someone reached in and grabbed it, it was a rock lobster. Here comes a stingray; there goes a manta-ray; in walked a jelly fish; there goes a dogfish; chased by a catfish; in flew a sea robin; watch out for that piranha; there goes a narwhale... HERE COMES A BIKINI WHALE!"
Valete, and na shledanou. Our kung-fu is best!]

Thank the Fates I had the foresight to bring that cheese in, or I don't think I'd have been able to keep him focused and on task. Tomorrow's agenda promises a potentially heavy encounter rate with Big People, so I will need all my wits and faculties available. It is time to bid you farewell once again. Thank you, America, and good night. This is the Nickness, signing off.

Good night Chicago!

Thank you for tuning in! On our next episode: Find Me Another Time Dilating Trunk!; How Do You Know It's Not Made Of People?; We Know Exactly Where That's Been; Ding!